So happy! wonderful b'dae at camp....got b'dae wishes frm pltnmates, n sum othr ppl....SO UNEXPECTED! evryting was fine, juz tt reported sick da whole day.....evry b'dae muz hv sumting one larh.......i predicted it correctly......i asked my respected NCO whether it was ok if i cannot cum for da camp.....she asked y n i said tt i hv a bad luck tt i muz hv sumting wrong on da days bear my b'dae n on my b'dae......last yr, fractured ankle, cldnt go for part a camp as doctor said cannot, now sort of migraine, vomitting, giddy, headache, stomach ache....haix......hope less.....dunno how to find out sumting...so confused.......

anywaes, found out tt sum ppl.....nvm.... i tink mi close frenz wld noe wat i wanna say.......but was restless.....hvn't finished hw, juz finished eng, still hv maths, science, and higher tamil....stupid....muz do 5 bk reviws, 5 newspaper articles......and a stack of worksheet....or rather junk.....

i luv eng but i get A1 for HTL.....i luv Geog.... but better at history, i luv homec but better at D & T....haix....dunno wat to take, hist or geog...take the sub i like or i m better at...so confused :S....nvm, hw in maths or sci i dun mind....but stupid HTL...father ask me to quit, which is impossible.....aftr studying for 1 1/4 yrs how to quit...he says it is a waste of tym go dere den reach home at 8:30 pm on tuesdays, aftr finishing council meeting and touch rugby in school........so tiring on tuesdays......

but the best on tuesdays is da recess......nvm..... hope dey dun change time table....i m full of hopes n b liefs, nothing for sure....all in god's hands.... dun care which god it is, whether hindu gods, or allah, or jesus christ or buddha, any god, any religion, any race is ok for me, i juz b lieve in all gods....all r same for each one of us aftr all..........

hate tamil n english man....actually lurve eng like xiao.....but since i always get C in eng.....lost hope oredi......i m in a lost world....so confused, having a mixed feeling of restlessness, happiness, sadness, anger and hunger.........OMG!

life sux.....i wish i juz collapse at any mom....dis is my onli relaxation....stupid ppl ask me to study straight aftr camp.....immediately aftr bathing....they wan me to die issit? dey wan me to study w all my health complaints mentioned above issit? i tell u arh....i will die from stress.....i m gonna die very soon.....i bet i will.....

juz b cuz of master parade, i endured all my sickness.......i was abt to faint when dey ask us to march in da parade sq...aftr master parade......but the mom heard them command us w a BRAVO in it...instead of Alpha or Alpha 2.......all my sickness disappeared but recurred again when back home.......

so happy, sum 1, though she said as a whole, still i m one of da ppl she was tokin to.....asked us to go n c doctor if we felt tt our health was ' deteriorating '.....so happy!! but so sad!! nvm........ i m a nobody to evryone..... i m non-existing......i m place for family mem. n fellow level mates to vent their anger on......i m a rubbish bin w all junk....i m da worst in the world......no one is like me.....i m a stupid junk........cant even get a B in eng....gonna ask another teacher for help in eng as cannot understand present teacher's explanation......also going for english tuition.....so stressful....*wonders how sec 4s cope up with*, esp. with Os and so may subs....haix.....

feel like going back to home land, my dear INDIA! life there rox......i m proud to say tt i m a non-singaporean in s'pore NCC......India rox....s'pore oso rox..........i sincerely luv s'pore.......gtg n do hw......byeeeezzz..........*+,*

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Sunday, March 21, 2004