hie ppl........

here is a poem tt i wrote........

Let me be a little kinder,
Let me be a little blinder,
To the faults of those about me,
Let me praise a little more......

Let me be, when I am weary,
Just a little bit more cheery,
Let me be a little meeker,
With the sister who is weaker,
Let me strive a little harder,
To be all that I should be......

Let me be more understanding,
And a little less demanding,
Let me be the sort of friend,
That you have always been to me!

- Nivy-

I cldnt b lieve i wrote dis kinda poem lor........nvm.......todae finished eng exam liaoz......compo i tink i did better dan usual..........letter oso da same.....but compre n summary...........i wonder if i had done dis bad b4.......but i dunno anyting for sure......but i tink i hv improve a lot in overall....

now at home.....bloggging in a computer in which da mouse is not workin......key board got sum sorta prob......but managed to blog........

last nite....my cousin bro was so nice lor.........evry one at hme noe tt i m hvin eng exam todae...........only my elder cousin bro said........."nivy all da best for tmr......sleep well.....do ur exam well.....gd nite....." liddat lor.........he has so much brotherly luv for me.........haiz.......now i dun long for an elder sis.....as my cousin...i treat him as my own bro.....budden i still like dose ppl in a sisterly way......tt is called true sisterly luv......hahaz

i m crappin..........dun mind me.....i m very happy todae......a big burden, eng exam is over.......i tink i can manage w maths n sci..........budden got lit.....n geog......n homec.......aiyoh........

gtg liaoz.......
byeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz!

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 29, 2004

hie....

dis is a very very long entry i suppose

1/2 of dis entry is dedicated to a person hu chatted w my mom.....n thinks tt it was me hu used my mother's name to chat w her......only farz n dat person can understand.......... 1/2 of da rest of dis entry.....only da ppeople involved in dose incidents n farz can understand..........da remainin 1/2....i tink most ppl can understand........unless u r an abnormal person...............

on fridae.......went online.......n aftr sum tym.....dat person came online.....den i went to bathe........den when i came back frm my bath............i saw tt dat person asked me to tok to dat person's sibling.....den i said ok.........den started chattin w da siblin......dat siblin wanted to noe me but did not want to reveal da identity of him/her(i dun wish to reveal da gender)......den i was forced to b lieve dat da siblin was realli tt person's sibling n not dat person usin da sibling's identity.........did i b lieve? wat d u tink? hahahazz.....

den we were tokin nonsense............i was freaked out as sum ppl noe tt i m not used to dese kinda tings.......den dat person changed his/her nick to smth dat starts w a letter in my name.......den said da ting dat was common bet me n her/him.......den my mom came.........so i told dat siblin not to chat w me w dis kinda intentions n attitude n dat i was sry i had to sae dat.......den i told her/him tt i had to go.......i was so freaked out until i got fever lor......!

few mins later.....my mom went online.............my mom wanted to check if da headset n da mic was working.........since me n her use da same e-mail account....she saw dat person (not da sibling) online.........den i told tt person tt my mthr wished to chat w her/him........den dat person said he/she wldnt b lieve n was suspicious....she/he wanted to c if it was realli my mom or me using my mom's identity....pls lah....u tink i hv nth beta to do?.......den my mom chatted w dat person.......when my mom was chattin, i was juz lookin at wat dey were chatting.......den i accidentally/purposefully revealed to my mom hu dat person likes.......den my mom oso invited tt person to my hse.......i tink dat person was freaked out.......dun wanna b lieve my word ah......muz ask my fren one u noe..........

den my mom asked dat person if dat person cld tutor me.......den dat person said tt he/she was very fierce n so on............

aftr my mom chattin w tt person, i chatted w dat person...........n he/she said.......tt y my mom invited only her/him...........n y onli dat person shld tutor me n not anyone else.......den dat person said i cld ask sum othr ppl.....a better teacher.......n she/he oso said hu i can ask........

let me make dis clear......i was not da one hu chatted w her....it was my mom......really.....i tot at least dat person understands me well.....but now i m disappointed..........

comin to todae.......

got many tings......

early morn aftr taf run......went to fill up water bottle......den mrs goh walked past n me n farz greeted her....den she asked me to pick up a piece of paper in front of da toilet n throw it away.....so i picked it up......n turned to face farz......when i was scannin through it to c if it was anyting impt, i had a glimpse of 2 familiar ppl come out of da toilet........i was starin at one of dem to recall hu exactly she was.....den i realised it was sum ppl's fren......so turned in front to tok to farz abt da piece of paper i had just picked up......i did not realise hu was b side tt fren.........i saw farz trting to ask me to do smth but cldnt open her mouth........den i turned b hind again to realise tt da person b side da one i was starin at was sum-one-hu-is-impt lor! den i did wat i was supposed to do.........later went to class

b4 goin hme.....was supposed to return smth to sum one.........farz was sayin let us go n pay sum-one-hu-we-noe a visit...........n dere she came lor........i was soooo shocked to c her dere.........

den while goin home.......saw both of dem together at da canteen......den i did-smth-i-was-supposed-to-do............den went home.........

wat i m going to say applies to most of my blog entries tt involve dose ppl .....
a quote frm lit play, The Unexpected, tt i like..... "Where women are concerned, the unexpected always happens"...........dis is really very very true..........

my cousins n his family r here...........frm india..........dey r here for a holiday......dey wld b here for a month........my cousins r soooooooooo nice to me lor........my elder cousin got a state rank in his A levels in india.......which means tt in da whole of tamil nadu, he got da third highest marks........i m so proud of him lor.......i m so happy to say tt i m his cousin lor...... he got 1198/1200..............da marks r a total of 14 subjects......as a result.........da indian government agreed to support him financially........da indian government bore all his expenses concerning his studies lor.....dis is more dan a scholarship........now he is a doctor oredi.........

my second cousin got 1192/1200......he missed da medical seat by just 3 marks u noe.......da marks to get in to a medical course in india last yr was 1195/1200 lor.........i m soooo sad for him.........india has a lot of competition for medical stream..........now he is doin his engineerin 2nd year........

my cousins r soooooooooo nice to me aftr all........as u all noe......i dun hv elder siblings.......n i m sick of being da eldest in evryting........it is very nice to be a younger one to sum one...........so ppl w elder siblings shld really treasure dem despite all deir wrong n irritatin deeds......u wldnt appreciate smth when it is at ur reach..........u wld only appreciate when u dun hv it n when u long for it.......mebbe in my previous birth.........i had tortured my elder siblings..........tt's y to let me realise da value of dem......in dis birth, i dun hv older siblings hu r older dan me............i onli hv cousins........

i found out........i m mean n pissed up n serious most of da tym b cuz of two reasons.......no 1.......i need peace n silence............no 2..........i need sum one hu wld really listen to my probs n lend me a listenin ear........which my elder cousin did........sooo happy.....wonder how i wld react when dey leave for india........

i m blessed to b da youngest in my platoon.........

i wonder how dey feel abt it.........do dey think i m odd? d dey think i m tooo young to do anything tt dey can do?

ROD comin closer........EXAMS comin closer tooo.......muz manage stress


posted by battle between mind and emotions at Tuesday, April 27, 2004

alo.....now i m back home.....

da teacher of htl arh......aiyoh! sickening u noe.....nvr even gimme da bk to update da content page and to cut and paste all da worksheets........he go n scold me for not updatin da book lor........nvm.....had htl ca todae.......did ok....not so bad......

got maths overall ca marks......i got 76/100 only lor.......dis kail ling frm my class(class chairperson) got 86/100 u noe! my goal was her......n now she's like 10 marks more dan me! my first two tests pulled me down.......nvm......i told myself.....'better luck next time'........

i m gettin closer to most of my class mates......only for sum exceptional cases lah.......i dunno how we r gonna react when we all go to different classes nxt yr lor.......

juz realised tt my pltn is sooooooooo united tt we hv two main tings in common.........our hairstyles r standardized.........except for me, li ting n sri.....(to distinguish tt we r frm BRAVO 04...hahahaz)evry one has short hair lor......wonder if anyone has realised othr dan my pltnmates......i heard tt li ting is oso gonna cut her hair........den sri has hair tt is juz nice to b tied......so i wld b da only person w such long hair in my whole pltn.......

secondly.......none of us hv perfect eye-sight lor......let me c......

aish, eshwaaree, fengy, vanya, cai hua, wai man, yee lyn, kel, hazi, aisyah,
li ting r da ppl hu wear specs all da tym......sri, syahirah, hwee boon wear while readin, oggy wears contact lens, i m supposed to wear specs while readin but now dey ask me to use eye-drops......co-incidentally, our NCOs oso wear specs........ wow lor.....so united.......

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Saturday, April 24, 2004

halo......

todae.......nice day.......morn had taf run......den went for council meeting.......den went to millenium classroom for english lesson......aftr tt we went back to class to hv maths lesson........aftr tt we went for pe......when goin for recess......had da shock of mi life......SHE was comin right in front of me in between da canteen benches.......den aftr recess went for homecons.....now in comp lab hvin CS.......

had a nice homecons lesson w ms chua......she rawks man........i helped her to keep da class quiet.......i was 'shhhhh'ing all ovr......

my class in sooo creative lor.......we were learnin abt advertisements.....den ms chua showed us a bata advertisement........my classmates hv a new definition for BATA, da shoe brand.......u noe wat it is? Buy And Throw Away........hahahaz.......soooo farnie.......nvm....tt is so lame.......

later hv to go to stoopid higher tamil.....i hv named it stoopid higher tamil.......u notice i always say stoopid wheneva i tok abt htl.......(i noe dis sounds LAME, juz lyk me)

gtg n do other CS work......
byeees......

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Saturday, April 24, 2004

hi ppl...........

todae was not so bad......neither very interestin nor very sien......but aftr sch was very nice lor..........

had cme project presentation w mrs gam.............was sooo horrible lor.........we didnt expect ourselves to do soooo badly lor..........

was hvin a nice drink (ice milo)after lunch, w apurva n her gang of frenz sittin in front of me lor........SHE is soooo poor thing lor......nvm...apurva is very bad lor...didnt xpect her to b so bad to HER and me..nvm...den saw DEM dere......aiyoh.....didnt noe which side to look.....one at da study pavillion lor......where to stay? which side to look? in front, b hind or study pavillion? nvm.....managed sum how........

den took 111 w cindy (2S1), Nicole (4S3) and Asyiqin (4C3).......was hvin a nice tym listenin abt council.......den ttok MRT from c'wealth w Khalilah(dunno how to spell her name) n her fren(4got her name) frm 3C2.......was tokin w dem abt studies until i 4got to alight at clementi lor.......had a nice ride to Jurong East......n den got down dere aftr realisin.........(lucky tt i nvr realise when i was in boonlay)den had a nice ride back to clementi......tt was very lame lor.......

den now at home.......bloggin.......comp is workin a bit.....dun hv MSN........nvm......gtg n study for exams n revise liaoz......

byeees

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Friday, April 23, 2004

hie......

in comp lab rite now..........

early morn first ting i heard aftr assembly in da council meetin was such a gd news lor.........it was tt me n farz r one of da 27 confirmed councillors..........aish is also confirmed...........i was havin da satisfied feelin......no one noes how hard i had been workin for it lor......my mom wanted me to b cum a prefect in my pri sch.......budden since i joined only at p5..........n da selection to b prefects was in p3......i cldnt b cum one........den my mom wanted me to b a councillor in crescent............n i hv fulfilled her dream.....her wish..........i can at least make her happy although she dsnt let me be so.........dis may seem very silly n a small matter to others....but it is very great to me..........lyk dis only i m soooo happy n feel satisfied......wonder how i wld feel when i fulfil my mom's dream n wish for me to get gd O level results...........get in to a gd jc......get gd A level results n get into a professional..........medical seat at NUS...........WOW! so nice to imagine......muz work hard for it.........tink she is aimin a bit too high for my brilliance n capabilities..............but i shall b optimistic n aim for tt n strive hard for tt unforgettable day of my life............

was havin a nice tym in canteen juz now.......doin hw n being entertained by sum ppl......one of da person hu i noe as her fren.came n asked me if i noe where dey were lor.........i hv nth beta to do issit? i was doin hw rite...nvm.den muz make so much noise when i was doin hw issit? wat is dis lor...........but still was enjoyin although cldnt finish htl hw.......

den went to class n saw HER in rotunda.......den ran away frm her........n den went to toilet w farz.......had a shock of mi life lor......saw HER again........den when we were comin back to da canteen.......mr ho asked us to help him carry da OHP to 1G2 n an OHP frm dere to da D&T workshop........ we helped him........farz nearly slipped in da rotunda........den he gave us a pleasant shock....he asked for our honour cards n chopped for us lor..........we actually didnt expect dis lor......... we tot it was not a great help n juz did as we were told.......we didnt do it expectin a reward.........

dis is a tamil sayin:

nanRi oruvarkku seithakkaal - annanRi
endRu tharungol enavaeNdaa - ninRu
thaLaraa vaLarthengu thaaLunda neerai
thailaiyaalae thaan tharuthalaal

dis means tt u do smth gd to a person......u dun expect tt person to help u in turn........ da example given for dis statement in tt sayin is tt a person waters da coconut tree.......w out expectin any help in turn....... aftr da tree has grown taller.....w da great help of da water........it provides u with tender coconut water n sweet coconuts.........it gets all ur help....stores it inside itself n returns u ur help by givin smth greater dan wat u did to it..........u juz gave it water.......but da coconut tree helps u in turn by givin u sweet water n sweet coconuts.........

n den now in comp lab...........need to go for tuition........muz leave sch at 5.30pm........I DO NOT MEAN TO WAIT FOR ANYONE..........

last nite.......i juz burst out in to tears when at bed at da thought of ROD n my most respected ppl all passin out lor.........last yr da same ppl, at da same tym, wished aish happy birthday on da first activity aftr dey took over.........den my sis came n disturbed me n i really cldnt stand it..........i was agitated lor.......finally i was in such a state tt i wouls explode n start screamin at da slightest irritation........

was crying n floated off to my saddest dream land........da scene of ROD........My NCOs in da position of my Part A NCOs during last yr ROD lor........nvm.......obviously evry one wld feel sad rite.......for all CCAs........

exams approachin.....english exam in 1 wk's tym.......so stressed......dad was scolding me tt i m like a bk worm always w a bk n i dun relax at all.......he forced me to watch tv n go n play games in da computer lor.........

tmr got imt......muz go hme aftr tuition n prepare evry ting for tmr.......

gtg liaoz.....
byees.......


posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 22, 2004

hiyeee.........

found out tt i did not get in for da oratorical..........so sad :'(...........last yr.......mom forced me to join n i was greatly hopin not to get into finals...........finally i didnt get in.............dis yr...........partially mom n dad forced me but 3/4 of my heart was willin to get in to finals.........budden...........so sad tt i did not get in............nvm..........participation is impt to me........winning is not so impt.......

u noe it is soooo damn frustrating to go tt stoopid htl centre......summore wearin pe shirt n sch blouse.......so hot.....was suffocatin lor........den got headache........n i m goin for da sake of sum one cuz she said i shlnt quit htl as it helps in L1R5.......yah.......so............since i respect her so much...........i m doin as she said..........

cldnt go for imt practice todae...........went for da stoopid htl.......came hme at 8.30pm.........wah lao.....was hvin a nice tym doin hw in sch b4 goin for htl........lookin at sum ppl.....sum othrs went for PFT........

25th.......this mth.......i m gettin a torture...............it is da starting of my torture n ending of my freedom (as though i hv now)............my uncle's family frm india..............dey luv to spread rumours abt me.........so anxious....

had a nice free period in da morn n oso had a fun tym standin outside class near da staircase..........watchin my pltn mates doin traffic duty..........dey r soo cute......so farnie.......hahahaz.......yee lyn so cute.....oggy oso very cute.........cldnt c aish n wai man........hahahaz..........

recess she nvr cum down u noe..........todae is da only day i hv da same recess as lor..........nvm........can c her frm class.........

1st tym mrs wong praised my art work sooooooooo much lor..........she was lyk.....ur art is so nice....ur sketches n layouts r very very nice........i like da way u hv arranged ur lay outs.......n so no lor.......we r supposed to do papercut mah...........she wants 3/4 of it ready by nxt tues.......

gtg now......byee byee........

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Wednesday, April 21, 2004

hie.........

todae arh..........aiyoh.....first period was maths lesson n mrs lim is da second teacher to call farzanah w her name's letters re-arranged lor........y muz farz hv tt name lor............

Miss ONG, Miss MOKHana, Miss WONG, and Miss TAN (all not frm crescent, hahaz ;) r so nice lor.......

got art n maths to complete...........muz study for exams oso.......so stressed.........pappa surprisingly scolded me for studying all da tym n not relaxin at all.......i simply cldnt b lieve it lor...........any wae........i dun feel like relaxing lor............lost interest in every ting leh...............

nvm.......nvr c a few of my favourite ppl...........

tmr got air rifle but hv to go for stoopid higher tamil lor.........i dun wan.....scared for imt budden no choice.........my most respected person ordered me not to miss lesson liaoz.........she is oso rite in a way........htl exam on 3rd may..........

orh......dey both knew tt dey r da same register no. onli on sat lor...........i knew it long long ago........dey r soooooooooo slow........

a person is allowed to like only one person at a tym issit? cant like three or four meh? dey shot qns on sat n tt left me in such a critical n delicate situation lor............summore when dey asked those qns......da person hum dey were referrin to were oso dere........

todae....oratorical.....i blabbered lyk wat lor.........u noe where da results of da qualifying round wld b posted on? da tv in da canteen lor.......! so maluatin!

gtg liaoz...........
byeeeeeezzzz..............

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Tuesday, April 20, 2004

alow...........

u noe smth! early in da morning was hvin lit lesson.......miss chan wanted to call farzanah......u noe wat she mistook her name for?! a name with farzanahs' name's letters a bit re-arranged................my very favourite name........early morn...shld i b reminded of her? i was trying to stop myself frm getting distracted as i can c her in her class frm my place in my class.......uz now we all r sittin in single file.........mrs gam made dis arrangement...............gd for me..........hahahaz.......den evry one in my class gave farz TT NAME as her nickname.................soooooooooo jealous of farz u noe!!!! nvm.she is my fren.n tt is coincidentally her name...n dat person has nearly da same name...so it is ok........den durin eng was deir recess i tink............i was staring at sum place when i saw a familiar face.....den i didnt mean to stare at dem.......budden i tink dey mistook me lor...........dey muz turn one.......den blame me of tokin abt dem all da tym.......

went to hall to watch R&B concert....didnt understand a single ting.............da mom i went dere to sit....sum ppl muz move away one u noe............dey muz avoid me one...........i wanted to avoid dem...but since my frenz were dere...i didnt mind sittin dere.......if not i so thickskin to go n sit dere arh? she pissed off with sumting else can dun show it to me or not........i pissed off d i show it out......or do i show my anger on her? no rite.....den y is she liddat?! nvm.........

exams cumin u noe..........so stressful.....nvm...i shal fulfil my parents' wish as well as achieve my temporary goal.............

in comp lab now......juz finished recordin for da poem i wrote......actually i m not soooooo good in composing eng poems...........i m onli gd at tamil poems...............saw many ppl..............

still need to go n type out my pbl survey questions..........n print out....................stoopid comp jammed leh.........nvm, i shall use my mom's laptop.........

gtg now leh........
bye.......
nivy...........

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Friday, April 16, 2004

hie.....dis is gonna b a long entry

fridae......

went to east coast park with abt 20 families of my father's friends......we were dere for a bbq session.......
saw snr sufan(snr sufrina) dere........she was so nice to me leh.....was tokin to her abt my studies.....her studies.....my nc life so far.......her nc life.......her new institute.........den rode bicycle..........for two hrs........b4 tokin to snr............den when it was 20 mins to return the bicycle.....i started tokin to her...........den aftr sum tym....my cousin reminded me tt i had to return my bicycle........i looked at my watch....OMG! it was so late lor............i rushed like xiao........hv nvr rushed on bicycle liddat.......

seriously speakin......i missed that peace....tt was all i needed to get rid of my stress.......... i was riding the bicycle for two whole hours.............i was enjoyin the peace.........n beauty of the nature's scenario............was so damn nice lor........den aftr returning it.............ate a leg piece of chicken....... bbq-ed............den had rice w soup............den played games......den came home..............wah lao....... was dog-tired liaoz...........den prepare ncc no 4 uniform.......until 2.00 am.........n den went to bed at 2.30 n slept at 4.00 am............

saturdae.............

woke up at 6.............. got ready in no 4 uniform..........left hse at 6.45 am, reached sch at 8.00 am....... stoopid bus.....waited for 30 mins lor...........den reach sch oredi......... learn ifc frm li ting and hazee...... den went to learn how to do traffic duty, frm mr gau.......n mr lim....... den went to the big field outside sch to do ifc...... since i was very very allergic to grass, i was asked to sit down n watch my pltn mates do....... den went to hv a pltn reflection at the lohbang........ den went mobil and den went hme at 4.30

reached hme oredi.......washed my face.......changed mi dress den went for dance class........it rox man! so nice to dance........felt so grown up in my costume......oso in my practice dress..........den came hme.had a gd shampoooo bath.den went for a hse warming function.......later came home at 11 plus...did sme hw den went to bed at 1 n slept at 3.......

sundae.......

was awakened by sister's cries of demands.......first person she wld cum n approach to demand anyting wld be me.............i give in too much to her.she slap me oso i juz tolerate.she noes when i can b strict n when i can be lenient..so even though i m nice to her.she scared of me.........ppl might say tt i hv threatedned her...but i didnt..........i dunno y she so scared of me.it was seven when i woke up.......bathed, skipped break fast........den studied for maths test........den did rest of my hw......went for eye check up at 9.......later went for tuition at 2.......until 7 was hving tuition...........den came hme...packed my bag......had a bath......ate dinner.......den study........went to bed at 11.........sis was disturbing me..so slept at 2 am........nxt morn woke up n went to school.......

mon n tues...........

keep on bumpin into sum ppl leh............so happy sia.........nvm..i will b saying da same ting again n again........exam cumin liaoz...........now in comp lab...........stoopid comp at hme cannot work.....hv bin chattin w her for a few tyms............so happy! chat until very wat lor........i tink i wun b able to blog for a few days so often unless got anyting interesting (accordin to me) to say........(sum ppl wun understand sum of my terms or wati m trying to say)......yah....got two more reasons...........no 1 comp not workin at hme.........no 2 exams approachin................VERY VERY VERY SOON! muz study hard and achieve my short-term goal...........

today, got back sci test liaoz.........ok lah....not so bad.....but i HATE farz k..she beat me by 1 mark! haix....nvm.....i shall beat her in da nxt test or mebbe exam.....hhahahahazzzzi m so evil.k tt is ver LAME.....nvm................maths test postponed to fridae.......aftr sports dae.......cant go for air rifle....so sad.....den muz go for higher tamil liaoz......

juz realised y dere was a black out in my hse...........arnd 11......was arguing w sum ppl den went to bed crying on 13 apr late night, 14 apr early morn.........heard tt it was black out until woodlands..........no candle in my rm n was suffering frm heat.was being suffocated.........da fans n aiscons suddenly went off....was so damn creepy lor........summore dad hadnt cum hme frm work.....it is very hard for me to wake up if i m in a sound sleep...u wake me up for 30 tyms i oso wldnt wake up.......but i wld da mom dere is no air..........wind shld be blowing on my face............onli den i wld b able to continue sleepin......da electricity went off n i woke up immediately..........was sittin up on bed like a ghost w my hair all untied...fallin ovr my face...........my grandma was freaked out when she saW me at tt state lor.......my sis woke up frm her sleep den she cried screaming 'ghost!'.............i was lyk..' huh? wat is goin on' liddat lor........den finally da lights came back n i slept again at 4 am............my dad came back at 3 am..........

luckily wasnt late for sch van dis morn........woke up at da rite tym...as i m used to manage w 2 hrs of sleep...........

alrite...i gtg now liaoz...........bye byeeeeeeeeee
nivy

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 15, 2004

hie.....

OMG! i m sooooooooo DEAD lor! was in bus stop.......farz had juz left in da 132 tt had juz left.......i was waiting for 111......i had juz finish eating my ice-cream.......i saw a familiar face tt appeared out of nowhere........as i was engrossed in my own thoughts abt my class......(whole class got in to trouble)....anxious......didnt noe it was da most impt person!!!! i was behaving normal.....not da way i b have when i see her...... i looked at her....still thinking....i had a feeling i was supposed to open my mouth and say sumthing....but it didnt stike to my stoopid brain tt i was supposed to say gd bye........so i started munching mu ice-cream faster.......budden....nvr open mi mouth to say gd bye lor! i looked at her......she stared at me......i was thinking....hu is she....?! looks soo familiar but dunno hu she is.......y is she staring at me like dis.?!!!! thoughts flooded my mind...all other wild thoughts except for hu exactly she was........den i got up da 111 bus which came quite soon..den i turned b hind out of nth......i opened my mouth inadvertently......den.....closed my mouth.....got up da bus....she still was staring at me...only aftr da bus left did i realise hu it was........!!!!!!!! it was da most impt person of _ _ _ ! MY GOD LORH! so scared....i hope dey can understand...........*full of high hopes*

last night had a very strong feeling tt todae dere was smth very serious gonna happen........n tt my whole class was going to get in to deep deep deep trouble.......n summore hindus b lieve tt for women, if da right eye keeps on blinking by itself, tt means smth very serious, wrong or unexpected was gonna happen todae.........was very restless since dis morning.........still was having tt strong feeling lor...........

evry ting was fine todae.....except tt sum one nvr cum to sch......n i was oso pissed off(not b cuz of her not cumin to sch), n i saw hueva i wld b cravin to c on othr days......i muz c dem when i m extremely pissed off issit? i wanna c dem other tyms cannot lah......oh........i saw dem soooooo many tyms u noe.......

den came CME period........horrifying period...........i shall not tell in detail......

ppl cant take april fool's joke issit? wad do dey tink ? S3 so wat....in no way r we lower dan any of da othr classes k.........we r going to show extraordinary unity.....tt's all i can say......our class is very united ok..........all i can say is tt our class has a prob......

anxious on wad's gonna happen on monday.........tt was y i didnt even noe hu was in front of me in da bus stop.....didnt noe wat i was suposed to do if i c dem sum where n when i was going home.....hope dey can understand lor.......todae whole day has been a horrible day for me.....

of all days....muz tmr b a holiday??!! we r going tp suffer frm anxiety of wat is goint to happen on monday lor.......as junior councillors.....me n farz did so much to improve our class's reputation.......tt was why we had to b strict n fierce w dem regardless of deir change of attitude towards us.......i dun mean to show off or anything.....we tried our best to uphold da class's reputation......if what i feel is going to happen again..........dere wld go all our efforts in to da rubbish bin.....evry one's efforts wld b futile lor........

all my gut feelings hv been comin true......if wad i tink is gonna happen on monday.........we r gonna be dead! aiyah......so scared!

sat hv IFC test summore.....dunno wad i m gonna do.....i m learning frm pltn mates tt morn only lor.......but dey r so nice to cum early n teach me......

had to chase ppl for letters like mad......still tortured me lor.......

gtg liaoz......byeees


posted by battle between mind and emotions at Friday, April 09, 2004

hie...

b4 goin for tuition.....

me n farz were did our geog hw.....finished it....gave it to ms fam.....den were doing our own tuition hw.....decided to leave as it was gettin late for my tuition.....came out to da main gate n had a pleasant shock.....guess hu i saw! nvm......totally didnt expect her anyway......was waiting for 132 when i saw my bro, zakiah dere.....said bye to her n continued waiting for da bus.....we missed one bus b cuz we were eatin ice creams........cant eat in bus mah....although most of dem do......den rushed for tuition.......

now back at home.......aftr tuition........

we did a comprehension as a test......preparing for exams......it was ACS barker's mid year paper.......i passed in tt.....but i m surprised tt i almost fail in all my sch comprehensions.......it was so hard....but i dunno how it is compared to crescent's......

den saw staff dere.....greeted her.....den came home......now preparing for tmr's activity.....soo happy......sat got ifc test liaoz....all was taught when i had reported sick during da camp....dunno watta do....muz ask NCOs......so nervous........

fri is a holiday.......muz spend one horrible day at home.......dunno how i m gonna survive lor.....oh god! pls save me! i muznt get any scoldings for unreasonable things........*full of high hopes*

muz go n sleep soon.....inorder to escape anyone naggin me.....onli grandma at hme rite now......tt's y nowadays go to bed early but obviously sleep late lah.....i will b havin a bk in my hand n studying at bed........hahahaz......so crazy of me to escape a nag.....in these ways.....


gtg liaoz........
byeeezzz........

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 08, 2004

alo.....

so happy.....recently chatted w HER.....so happy....first tym she came online aftr i added her......got back maths test.....did quite badly....results werent as i expected........but my frens say it is very high oredi.....r dey juz sayin tt to console me or wad.....my dad wans me to get full marks......aiyah......todae had to bk one of my dearest class mate for wrong earing in da wrong ear hole........no choice b cuz a teacher asked me to bk her n she was standing dere watching me write her name in da demerit ticket........

got back a lot of eng CAs......did so badly....dunno wta is difficult but difficult.........trying my best to improve but still cannot leh.....watta do......

juz asked ms goh if i can ask my parents whether i shld give mi name for da oratorical contest......challenge shield......budden she confirmed tt i muiz go lor....she gave me da form to fill up......starting to b very nervous.....nvm....i lose oso i dun care.....participation is impt.......i shld get rid of my stage fear........i wanna b cum a gd speaker......hahahaz.....

i m being loaded w a lot of home works n tests.....sec 2 onli.....liddat.....sec 3 leh? sec 4 leh?wahlao......so scared.....so anxious.......aiyoh.....cannot catch up liaoz....summore go hme so late.......evry day sumthing pops up....evry day one assignment........got tuition summore.....aiyoh! i m dying of stress....i m oredi half dead.......still hv art project n a paper cut.......den hv hw given by dad.....hv my own practices n targets of bks to finish practising n complete by dis wk....i barely relax......onli once i was online for 3 hrs.....juz b cuz was chattin w sum one....i allowed my self to do so as i relax once in 7 days or smth liddta.....sundays oso no break...........

in comp lab rite now.....going to go n do tuition hw den leave for tuiton at 5.20......saw sum 1s eating lunch.....nvr c anthr sum one.......dunno where dey hide.....dey r so mysterious.....

gtg liaoz.....
byees. *+,*

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 08, 2004

hie ppl......

todae so sien......aiyah....muz search internet for art pictures......dunno wat mrs wong means by first hand pictures....issit we take photographs or we search n print out......

enterin hse....mummy on da phone....got da phone eagerly n spoke to mum...asked her how she was n how her work was......u noe wat she said? " dun spend all ur time on da phone......dun sit in front of cum....go, bathe, study....relaxation is juz da changing of jobs....n ur work...not laziness or wasting tym....understand? " den i was lyk......ok fine....i nvr say anyting....hung da phone.....went inside da hse....started shouting n screaming to my grandma......

at least if my mom said all da crapp aftr i relax a bit den i wun mind....i came hme to b peaceful n dere goes all my expectations....into thin air......da mom step in to hse.....hvnt even gone inside hse got lectures......how u wan me to enter tt horrible place? but no choice wad.....

i tot for rugby if u give letter n got it signed by da teacher incharge, u will b excused n not b marked as absent? den y day called farz dis morn (she didnt go for twice n got letter frm teacher in charge) n told her tt if she dsnt cum for one more tym.....she wld get a demerit.....wat is dis lor.....got valid reason.....for me oso nvr go once......council meeting.......dey still count me as absent lor.......so tt means i go for two more council meetings den i hv one demerit lah.....oh.....i didnt noe leh.....da teachers ah.......aiyoh......undescribable.....

gtg liaoz...
byes




posted by battle between mind and emotions at Tuesday, April 06, 2004

hie...

yest...

was going home aftr htl in da bus......den saw a person riding his bicycle on da road......was reminded of my stolen bicycle.....haix......it has been 1 yr exactly since my bicycle got stolen......my father had bought it 4 me since i did well in PSLE....it was a silvery coloured URATA brand.....ladies bicycle......i had left it locked near my hse da stair case dere.......i had locked it to the wheels n den to da water pipe.......i evry day take it, go down n ride it.......i oso used to ride it to da west coast park near my hse.....i go two whole rounds arnd da west coast park.....for 3 hrs....i wun get back those moments......so nice n peaceful......appreciating n enjoying the nature's beauty......n da loneliness......left un bothered.......my parents wld b sitting at one place....near all da spider web thinggy.....yah....den i will cum back...we all play den go hme.....one day....my younger sis asked for her tri cycle to go n ride down stairs.....den i oso wanted to ride mi bicycle......i went to the water pipe.....it was empty....we saw smth lying on da floor.....it was da LOCK.....it was a srtong metal chain....w a lock....hardened lock.....it had been broken open n my bicycle had been stolen.....it was $200.......my best present.....or rather reward i have ever gotten.....so sad.....

dunno y....nowadays.....reminded of da past happenings very frequently.....

todae.....

went for listening compre exam.....it was quite ok....expected 20 questions.....each one mark....end up....10 questions each two marks......was supposed to finish arnd 9.30....den finished at 8.30.....den we went to c one of da teachers dere....to tok abt da upcoming written exam.....n da list. compre.......changed to bravo shirt.....den left htl centre at 9.00 am....reached sch for ncc at 10.00 am.....sooooo sad....missed pt....heard frm pltn mates tt dey ran all da way to queenstown primary school.......

when we joined....dey were singing ~Cold Wind Blows~ cheer.....den went for marching....den we toked n had fun....saw DEM.....2 pltn mates acted out antigone.......found out 4 of da specs....as far as i noe....were haemon.....i m creon.....same as some othr of dem......i tink.....i dun tink i can play tt role well....cuz i dun look like one......i wanted to b ismene....budden.....had a gut feeling tt i muz b creon....my grp mem. oso agreed....so i agreed....

sum ppl arh.....insult.....so directly....atleast got valid reason to justify deir acts...i dun mind....anyhow go n insult me n aish......so pissed off.....aiyah.....no point tokin abt incorrigible ppl.....ridiculous ppl.....LAME ppl.....

went for dance class.....only me n another girl frm india....bangalore...in my grp.....we r da oldest dere oso....sick of being da oldest.....evryting oso i m da oldest....glad tt in nc....i m da youngest....i m oso 1 yr younger dan my pltn mates wat.....so in tt way.....happy lar.....

wah.....even though it was juz one hr todae.....indian classical dance(tt is wad i learn rite....) really rox....da mom i join dere......i feel so dedicated to dance.....i learnt in india for 3 yrs.....when i was abt to finish n do my major stage performance.....i came to s' pore.....wish i finished it dere n came here......now revising evry ting again......at least wld take another one yr to finish half of wat i learnt......

nc rox too....da mom i join dere....i oso feel dedicated to nc.....tamil classical music.....vocal singing oso rox.....playing veena(indian traditional musical intrument) oso rox....so nice.....i m sooooo classically orientated........hahahahazzz........

i gtg now
byeezzzz......

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Sunday, April 04, 2004

hie......

todae last day of foyer duty liaoz.....so sad.....all these days....i was da first person to greet her......cannot anymore liaoz.....so happy, nvr bk anyone todae so far.......yest bked 3 ppl, all frm sec 4......was shocked to c "sister's" fren cum late.....

yesterday....10 of my class mates forgot to bring cme book for her lesson......she got very angry.....den she said tt we all muz cum to sch by 7 evry dae n b seated at our seats w our cme bks.....n tt we wld go down as a class w her....we tot it was true......so, todae we all were seated in class w our cme bks by seven like mad ppl liddat.......den we expected her to cum.......in da end she nvr cum......we oso went down for assembly n i went to da foyer.......

dis morning i saw mrs dorothy gam n greeted her.....den she said happy april fool's day for da whole class.....only den did i realise tt she played an april fool trick on us......but she sounded so serious n really angry yesterday.......aiyah.....how clever of her to trick a whole class.......

so happy sia......nearly bumped on to her......i went blur......totally blur.....blur until cannot b blur anymore liaoz.....malu miself in front of her.......den looked at my watch.....even forgot if it was morning or after noon.....how LAMER can i get lor.......

muz go higher tamil todae........in comp lab rite now......having CS.......so sad....tmr i m da ic n i will b going for nc onli at 10 or 10.30 am......muz go to da htl centre to do a stupid mid year listening compre.....so fast hv mid year list. compre sia......actual exam....as in da writing exam....is on 3rd may.......tt one oso so fast.......tym is flying in seconds todae........feel like i juz came to sch.....so fast school gonna end oredi......i noe when the tym wld pass slowly......in htl class.....so boring.....2.45 to 4.30
waste tym sia......learn a few words......tt teacher.....dsnt teach anyting.....juz go dere.....read htl text bk....do a compo or smth den got oral practice.....den go hme......so ......erm...wateva u call dat.....

monday got trafic duty......hope tt i can b da first person to greet her, alone or together w sum others.....as long as i greet her, good enough oredi.....cai hua is doing w me.....i tink i wld b late for duty....cuz i cum to sch in sch van mah.....den da van cums only arnd 6.50, 6.55 liddat....i m supposed to report to my duty at 6.45 am....... told staff.....she said nvm if i m late....as long as got valid reason.....

miss pt n marching a lot.....muz catch up w arm drills, long tym nvr do pt n nvr march......tmr can march.....can ask for tym to learn my arm drills.....budden pt? cannot ask for another pt rite? hahax.....nvm, i hope at least da next week can do pt.....

tmr.....go htl centre.....go for nc.....den rush home....bathe....den go for dance class.....den go home....bathe....den study.....do home work......still hvnt finish art home work.....muz do geog hw.....den sundae.....ppl will wake me up at 7.00 am when da previous night i sleep at 1 am......aftr wake up.....muz finish all morning duties.....eat den study....study....study until 1 pm....den go for lunch break......cum back at 2 n hv tuition at hme.......2 to 7.....xiao......5 hrs tuition........father lah.....aiyoh....he arh.....nvm it is all for my own gd.....anywae i enjoy studying like dis....at least spending my time usefully......i ld do this whole-heartedly, rather dan sit at home....n rot......doing nothing.....den aftr tuition.......7 to 8 relax....which wld mostly b reading story bks......i luv it......i tink i hv spoilt my eyesight like mad......cannot c prop....even aftr instilling da eye drops tt da Singapore National Eye Centre gave......den 8 to 8.30 pack my bag for the next day.....8.30 hv dinner.....den study frm 8.30 to 10.....go to bed at 10, sleep at 12 or 1 since my sis wld either b playing w me, hving a LAME fight w me or disturbing me......i oso cannot sleep da mom i go to bed....hvin very disturbed sleeps evry night......tink i m suffering frm insomnia...:P no lah......juz kiddin.... anw.....feel tt i hv a more hectic schedule in weekends dan week days......anw.....i hv a LAME joke here for u all.......y r week ends stronger dan wk days? ans:-) cuz dey r WEAK days......hahahahazzz......tt is really lame......as u all noe...i m very lame at tyms....infact most of da tym......*+,*

gtg now
bye......


posted by battle between mind and emotions at Saturday, April 03, 2004

alo....

APRIL FOOL'S DAY todae.....early in da morn......first ting....got fooled by my dear farz n one of my juniors........so embarrassing got fooled by a junior leh....
dod not fool any one in sch......so came home....fulfilled mi wish by fooling my grandma.....told her tt i got first in my whole level in all the recent tests....when they werent any.....hahazz.....she rwally b lieved it n promised to buy me a present.......den i told her i juz fooled her.......so farnie tt i 4got to laugh.......LAME....i noe dis is LAME.....

SO HAPPY! I was chatting w impt ppl but the stupid computer.....shut down by itself all of a sudden......i hope i wld get dis chance again lor......*full of hopes* still cannot sign in in MSN.....dunno wat is wrong w da stupid thing......juz hope tt dey dun hv wrong ideas tt i m very rude....nvr tell dem b4 going offline....i noe dey r very understanding......i hope so.......

went n toked to sum1.....she got freaked out i tink.....she had da exp. as though she wanted to run away frm me......had da pathetic look.....m i soooo scary? nvm......

tmr got maths test liaoz.....familiar w da topic.....but still hv to study......no one is perfect.......i tot got another bk at hme....came home.....den realised da other set of textbooks r all w my tuition teacher......asked pappaa to get it frm the teacher.....so nice of him to agree immediately......evry ting going on so nice.....in sch although a bit pissed off......at hme....hving a fun tym......

was juz listening to sum songs liaoz.......so nice.....first listened to 'Ovvoru Pookkalumae' frm 'Autograph' movie..........so melodious.....i luv it man......den 'Ithuthaana' frm 'Samy' movie......den Bahut Pyar Karte........and also 'Anbe Anbe' from 'Jeans' movie........haix......so nice songs......

gtg n study liaoz.....byeeess

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Friday, April 02, 2004

hie ppl......

i shall b very nice n patient.....i shall not do wateva she dsnt like......i m so nice to her (unlike her)......i shall leave her to live peacefully.....
sum ppl.....i cum dere....say hi to da person beside me....but not to me.....until i was so quiet den dey said helo......take advantage is it? i may look like a person whom u can take advantage w but, u r wrong when i m really in a very bad mood.......
had a very bad headache b cuz of da stupid sun......scorching w all his might.....so hot until got headache......den saw sum ppl break sch rulz.....head ache got worse......end up good to bad, bad to worse, worse to worst......not b cuz of any health prob.
sum ppl even asked me why i came to sch n troubling evry one, w my head ache.....DO DEY HV A PROB IN IT? i dun care even if dey hate me to the core.......even though dey play a very impt role in my sec sch life.....i emphasize.....I M HU I M.....
TODAE KEL'S B'DAE..... cldnt buy her present liaoz.....i think she dsnt mind....hahaz.....
gtg liaozz......
byeeeezzzz...........

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, April 01, 2004