viLaiyaada ithu neramaa?
en vinaiyaalae padum paadu
athai solla varum poathu
viLaiyaada ithu nerama?

kaLaithean jenmam eduthu
saLathaen poruthirunthu
uLamaara unai naadi
unai paarkka varum poathu
viLaiyaada ithu neramaa?

puriyaatha puthiroa nee
aRiyaatha kalaiyoa
parigaasamoa enmael paRithaabam illaiyoa
kuthiraiyin mael iLavarasi nee
varuvai endru ethirpaarthu
vazhi meethu vizhi vaithu
vazhi paarthu varumboathu
viLaiyaada ithu neramaa?
-Nivy-

You think you know the real me
But not really
You see no one knows the real me
Not one, only me

On the outside
Im happy and joyous
But on the inside
Im suffering, alone.

People know the me I want to be
Not the real me
The fake one, the one I display
For the whole world to see.

The real me, I keep locked up
In a cage, in the back of my mind
No one can ever see her
She's wild, not quiet...

I can never let you know
Who I really am
I find it easier, not to let people in
For I fear I will be abandoned

Everytime I let people in
They see the real me
They do not like her
They run, terrified, so you see
No one can ever know the real me.

-Nivy-

ppl nvr noe, how hurt i m...though dey can comfort me, i dun really get comforted...i m hurt as a result of my own actions...but it isn't entirely my fault...how can i express? i can only open my heart, which is possible only after i die...but it will juz be full of blood, veins and arteries...only my true frenz noe wat is really inside my heart...i hv lost my heart n soul...i m juz like a dead body roaming about the world, being a burden to da earth...to the goddess of earth, Bhumaadevi...anw, my life will end when it is fated to end...i can't go against da god's laws n schedules...i can't change my fate...i juz realised tt...i shall wait for my end happily...

but i wish to achieve smth b4 i leave...i wld at least luv to fulfil my dearest parents' wishes...although dey seem v scary in my eyes...dey r still my parents...i oso juz realised it...i wish to be a gd daughter, a gd grand daughter, an excellent sister to my dear yonger sister nikhila, a gd niece, n of course...a gd fren...dear frenz...i m really sorry if i hv hurt any of ur feelings...n thank yoiu for being dere whenever i needed u all...i juz hv a strong feeling tt my life is gonna end very soon...so i wld like to take dis opportunity to apologise to evry one for all my mistakes n troubles created...

gd bye...

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, June 17, 2004