hey guys..has bin over 10 days since i blogged...well..wad can i say...i hv binvery very busy with my common tests that i hv not been relaxing for the past 3 weeks...as if i m a person who noes hw to relax lidat..u noe ah...evry time i feel like relaxing, i juz dunno hw to..n i dun feel like..i juz go ahead with my academic work..even blogging dsnt provide me with relaxation...i juz get more guilty, feeling tt i can spend my blogging tym on my studies...even if i try n console myself tt i shd relax...i juz cant get myself to relax..i cant get myself to tok my hearts out to any one..i dun feel like trusting any one..NOT EVEN myself...i hv bin bottling up all mi feelings to myself..haiz...may god bless me n my studies...tt's all i want in my life...da only thing i hope to achieve in life, get into M _ _ I _ _ N _ in S'p and an _.B._.S or an _.D (this is not for anyone to noe but juz for me to noe..a form of pouring out wadeva i feel like)..even dis is not da place where i can be myself..even if i maintain a personal, hand-written diary, i cant guarantee tt no one wld c it...haiz...world is evil..or rather, i take it to be evil..well...dere might be sum one out dere for me (although a lot of ppl act like dey care for me n do bad stuff behind my baq)..but dere might be a person who truly cares for me..if dere is not a single soul who loves me n cares for me, only den da worls is really EVIL...nth much to say la...juz too pissed off, hurt n restless to say or do anth...btw ppl reading dis, pls dun get offended...i really dunno y i m pissed off..but i noe i m pissed....i feel as if some one or smth is being snatched away frm me...n i feel very restless...an usettling heart, mind body and soul...i oso feel v inferior n stupid..haiz...
bye den..

posted by battle between mind and emotions at Thursday, August 25, 2005